I think I is am pretty cool guy.

So anyways. Here's my two cents on how to improve the story vastly to a point where people who aren't fans of the respective fandoms associated with the characters written into the fan fiction.

The story could use improvements in about one hundred ways. For starters Inspiring your charters off of others is one thing, but stealing them outright is called copyright infringement. Now, since it's a fan fiction it's not really a problem, as it falls under the category of a parody, which technically isn't illegal.

But here's my suggestion.
1. Rename all the characters, vary their respective backgrounds from the original story line, making them similar, but not completely obviously related. This will also cause you to do this thing called character construction. Where you give them background and develop them throughout the story.

2. Learn the format of a novel. Read a lot, and learn how they are laid out and how to start and end paragraphs. Absorb as much grammar and vocabulary as possible. Write small poems and learn how to describe things.

3. Be original within your own confines. It's perfectly alright to be inspired by something, to even completely base your character on another, but to flat out copy everything about them is truly annoying. Unless you're writing something really really good, or some sort of extension of a universe. Like the endless piles of star wars novels (most of which are crap) then it's okay. But even then it's a bad idea.


I still have the feeling this is one giant troll though.

*Facepalm* Did you only register to criticize? I know that Dally's story is full of errors. That's WHY we love it. I always burst out laughing at 'as dally began to ate the beans'. That sentence is not funny in any shape or form when corrected to be 'as dally began to eat the beans'. We love Dally and her story because of the little mistakes like that. We would hate it if it had this storyline but wonderful grammar and IC characters. We love laughing at it, it's a wonderful lulzfest of wonderment that we don't want to change. Because if it was changed, it would not be worth lol'ing at.

I respect that you wanted to try help us, but frankly, it's not going to do anything. I too, am a grammar/story nazi, but I'm right on the boat with this because I enjoy lol'ing at it. So I'm not gonna try stop you from criticizing. All I want you to do is see it from our perspective.

"I think I is am a cool guy." - I didn't read the rest under this but I read Bear Leg's Comment.

First off, before you start correction ANYTHING, I suggest you correct yourself. That sentence should be, "I think I'm a cool guy." instead of that monstrosity I see for a title. Seriously, your in high school, learn to use your sentence structures.

Second, this story is popular because it IS poorly written, making it more hilarious because it ISN'T PERFECT. I don't see how its a big idea that people have a strong urge to correct this story. I am a grammar/spelling Nazi and I'm damn proud of it, but this is the first this kind of failfiction have given me so many a laugh. Finally, you never heard of OOC storytelling, I'm not going to tell you, Google it.

So give it a break, no one will listen to your cries. "Oh, this the internet, I can do whatever I want so I will try to fix a piece of shit of a story," well boo hoo, cry me a river, build a bridge and get the fuck over it. Unless Dally wants to correct the story, she'll ask someone she knows, not you. Now I will end this rant, and if you try to sass me back, I will just ignore it since I am older then you. It is the adult thing to do instead of squabbling about it like a child.

It's a bear white leg wrote:

*Facepalm* Did you only register to criticize? I know that Dally's story is full of errors. That's WHY we love it. I always burst out laughing at 'as dally began to ate the beans'. That sentence is not funny in any shape or form when corrected to be 'as dally began to eat the beans'. We love Dally and her story because of the little mistakes like that. We would hate it if it had this storyline but wonderful grammar and IC characters. We love laughing at it, it's a wonderful lulzfest of wonderment that we don't want to change. Because if it was changed, it would not be worth lol'ing at.

I respect that you wanted to try help us, but frankly, it's not going to do anything. I too, am a grammar/story nazi, but I'm right on the boat with this because I enjoy lol'ing at it. So I'm not gonna try stop you from criticizing. All I want you to do is see it from our perspective.

Yeaaaah. I kind of did. :[
Look, you can lulz at this all you want. I'm all for it, but the point I'm trying to convey here really has nothing to do with your enjoyment of the story. Am I not entitled to my own opinion? I find the story funny too. At the same time, I find it disturbing that something so hilariously bad was actually written seriously. Now this whole thing could just be flame bait, but for my intents and purposes I'm going to assume it's not.

This is the cancer that is killing the world. It's like some sort of collective hive mind of weeaboos and fantards have slithered their oozing black tentacles into every orifice and facet of society. Seriously, nothing hurts my brain more than the full force stupidity of some American fangirl throwing a Japanese word into her English sentence. That or some idiotic twitard yelling in my face that I don't understand them, simply because I audibly said that I didn't like the franchise that they love to dawdle over.

I am actually giving a heartfelt suggestion on how she can improve her skills as a writer. I'm not trying to be a dick bag, but it seems the bigotry level in this forum is over 9000. This is further illustrated by the fact that Link didn't even read my post, but responded to it anyways, by using an indirect reference. Don't be fox news. Oh yeah and about the thread title. lrn2meme. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pretty%20cool%20guy

Now, for reals. I didn't come here to be a jerk, but it seems that's been a little unavoidable, as my post was shoved into my face by the knights in shining armor of the intranets. Now, I'll take you seriously if you take me seriously. Explain to me how my posting this thread was bad.

Sorry about being offensive, you know how many of these have been presented and they become complete asses about it. And about the story, we can make all the corrections we want on it, but when you deal with immature children, that is the hardest thing to do. I might be repeating myself, but the only thing that has made it popular is the fact that it does butcher the English language. This is probably the only exception most people have cause of the hilarious level the errors are persented. Straightening it up like how it would be, and its fan base will drop significantly since it will be "Well this is the worst piece of shit of a story, and its a Mary Sue that has everything and everybody at her fingertips, there isn't even comedic value in here to even keep it alive. Etc etc." And the internet meme, lame and retarded. Sorry for being a hardass on you.

That's quite alright, and I apologize for being pretentious. But the story is like watching an extremely obese guy fail to get in his car. It's funny, but at the same time it's really really sad and disturbing. It could be some sort of glandular problem, or something genetic, but that is only a supplement to the problem. Despite how people love to bitch and whine about it, you can solve the problem through diet and exercise. I'm trying to apply the notion of that to Dally. Intellectual exercise. If she'll even read this ever, probably not. I don't even know. The story can stay the way it is forever. I just want her to be able to write something meaningful.

I feel like I am such a ninja reader, I read everything and hardly say things
anyways I will but my 2 cents in this

Dally doesn't put Japanese words here in her story.
Unless I readed wrong but I doubt that.

So many people try to give there advise telling her to change
giving criticism on her grammar and how the story is made.

I don't really get it why people try to give advice for that over and over again
Why not just stick the advice to something where the story could lead at or extra it could have in the future.

For the rest my point will stay at this: She has fans, meaning people enjoy reading her stories. If you don't like it, then don't but please don't try to change something with a fan base .

It is like , to my eyes at least, that your writing to [insert popular author/story] and tell them to change just about everything when they do have there fame.

10$ in love with Edward wrote:

I feel like I am such a ninja reader, I read everything and hardly say things
anyways I will but my 2 cents in this

Dally doesn't put Japanese words here in her story.
Unless I readed wrong but I doubt that.

So many people try to give there advise telling her to change
giving criticism on her grammar and how the story is made.

I don't really get it why people try to give advice for that over and over again
Why not just stick the advice to something where the story could lead at or extra it could have in the future.

For the rest my point will stay at this: She has fans, meaning people enjoy reading her stories. If you don't like it, then don't but please don't try to change something with a fan base .

It is like , to my eyes at least, that your writing to [insert popular author/story] and tell them to change just about everything when they do have there fame.

She doesn't, that was more of an angry rant about fantards then at Dally. Like I said. The story can stay as it is, if only for shits and giggles, but encouraging idiocy is not a good thing. I'm concerned for her, (that and the rest of the world) not her story. If you see a kid hitting himself in the head with a baseball bat, do you laugh and tell him to do it again? Well, some people might do that, but in general principals this is not a good idea. Seeing as, whacking yourself in the face isn't very good for you. The positive reinforcement only encourages the stupidity. Like I said, the story is actually funny. But it scares me that it's written seriously (Again, assuming that this isn't a troll. Simply because even if it's not, there is actually crap like this on the internets that is for real).

YahgetwutI'msayin'?